tumblrs

Since last year I’ve been using my Psychic Memoir tumblr as scratch paper for ideas/drafts for my novel-in-progress, Bombyonder. From here on out, I’ll be shifting Psychic Memoir to a more general/personal blog. During April, I’ll be posting poems for NaPoWriMo. After that, we’ll see.

I started a tumblr specific to Bombyonder here. There I’m posting a selection of reconstructed memory and historical fragments that appear in and/or influence the novel. In in some ways it’s a never ending project.

Also, the Bibliomancy Oracle is on tumblr. As of this writing, there are over 1400 prophecies. I add new ones each week. If you’re interested in following the new prophecies as I add them, you can follow that too. Or you can just go straight to the oracle and ask away.

I don't post too frequently on this blog anymore, but if you wish, you can keep up with my various online incarnations at the above tumblrs and on Twitter, Pinterest and Goodreads.

When I went on "sabbatical" last year, I decided not be on the radar as much as before. Not disappearing, just blending into the wall. The new perspective has been helpful in allowing me to better refocus my own work and personal interests. I haven't had an AWP nightmare in a very long time.


p.s. If you haven't migrated your Google Reader subscriptions yet, I've been using and recommend Feedly. After a day of getting used to it, I find that I prefer it to Reader.

next big thing

Trevor Calvert tagged me for The Next Big Thing. Here's my self-interview:

What is the working title of the book?

Bombyonder


Where did the idea come from for the book?

The concept is that it's a "psychic memoir" meaning that it reads as a personal record of a mental/supernatural phenomena. Since it's a "memoir" the memories recovered are treated as truth, there's no question as to whether or not something "really" happened. The protagonist doesn't wake up and go "oh, it was just a dream" and it's not a hallucination. The book works under the belief that the mental/supernatural spaces we move in and out of are indeed quite "real." The veracity of the events is not what's in question, but the perspectives/motivations of the characters and what the protagonist extracts and concludes from these recovered truths. These psychic events expand, overlap and evolve as their own spaces. It's these events and experiences that are accounted for by the protagonist.

The influences for this idea come from everywhere: bibliomancy, Tarot, books, films, memories and fragments, physical experiences, dreams, fantasies, the news, religious and mythological texts and on and on.


What genre does your book fall under?

Fiction. I read somewhere that people like to read novels, so I thought I'd give that a try since I'd like for people to read it. Also, even though it IS a memoir, I don't want to be in the position where I have to PROVE something REALLY HAPPENED.


What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Lena Headey, Cate Blanchett or (in 15 years from now) Jennifer Lawrence for the protagonist. Amy Sedaris as Lily, the straight-texting friend who lives in a box inside a box. For Rauan, the unconceived brother, maybe Patton Oswalt.


What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

Lady swallows a bomb in pill form (invented by her father), barfs up a dead bird and embarks on an excavation layered with murder, sexual politics, patriarchy, matricide and ancestral torment along with a parrot-faced cat girl, a boy on a donkey, a terrifyingly handsome lover, an unconceived brother, a straight-texting friend who lives in a box inside a box and Medusa.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

I'm still writing it, so 14 months and counting.



Who or what inspired you to write this book?

My unflinching desire to set the record STRAIGHT and then blow it to SMITHEREENS to see what's inside.



Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I haven't thought too much on that yet. Right now I'm focusing on finishing the manuscript. I'm open to both possibilities, but there's probably a slightly higher chance that I'll publish it myself because I tend to want to be the one who makes the decisions. Sometimes I have trust issues.



I'm not sure who hasn't been tagged yet, but I don't think I've seen a selfie by: Rauan Klassnik or Hugh Behm-Steinberg. Anyone else want to be tagged who hasn't been?

guess the dream poet -- part 5 (2012)

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I walk into a classroom. __(Poet 1)__is the teacher. While I was away, s/he gave a very detailed pop quiz that asks all kinds questions about poets and poetry. I don't know why s/he expects everyone to know this, then I figure there was required reading that I didn't do. I sit down next to __(Poet 2)__ who lets me copy his/her answers. The text has many questions and is complicated. There are fill in the blank questions and columns of questions. It's confusing where to put the answers. I'm copying answers from __(Poet 2)__ at random, throughout the test, with little rhyme or reason. There seems to be an unending number of questions. Somebody comes by and checks to see how we're doing. I flip __(Poet 2)__'s test over so they can't tell I'm copying it. They tell me that I need to hurry up. Then they come back and take __(Poet 2)__'s test. There's still a lot of questions I need to answer.


* * *

__(Poet 1)__ and __(Poet 2)__ have space in their van for me to go to the Yancy concert with them. I ask if they have an extra ticket and they say they have plenty. I'm not really familiar with Yancy, I remember __(Poet 3)__ posting a Yancy video on Facebook that was so-so. I tell them I need a few minutes. I go inside a childhood home and pee for a very long time while considering changing my sneakers to my boots because it'll look better.


* * *

I'm in NYC with __(Poet 1)__. We're in a fancy hotel lobby but we have to cross the street to a cheap hotel because __(Poet 1)__ doesn't want to pay more than $50 a night. We walk past __(Poet 2)__ and __(Poet 3)__ lying down on the ground, doing some kind of ironic performance thing to get attention for their reading this evening. I'm not going to go to their reading. I'll sooner go to a random stranger's reading.


* * *


I'm in my long abandoned elementary school. Everything inside has been painted white. _____ is here teaching a class. I know s/he's supposed to be dead, but s/he's come back from the dead to teach. There's a concern (perhaps it's just mine) that perhaps his/her time is past and s/he shouldn't be coming back. But then again, now there's still an opportunity to study with _____.


* * *

I'm crossing the street to find an office to work on the 2012 Dream Poet Anthology. I think about how __(Poet 1)__ probably feels replaced by __(Poet 2)__. That's because __(Poet 1)__ has been replaced by __(Poet 2)__.

guess the dream poet -- part 4 (2012)

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I get a call from _____ asking for help regarding the confluence software. I say that I'm not a teacher and have never used it, but s/he can come by and I'll try to help. I go to confluence.com to try to figure it out.


* * *

I'm following _____ around. S/he's next to some kind of machinery. I tell him/her that I used to be really intimidated by him/her when s/he ran this machinery. Now I seem to be the one who's a bit intimidating or maybe s/he didn't think I was intimidated before. I put my face close to his/hers, like we're close. Someone sees this through a window. Things have really changed between us.


* * *

I walk into a crowded auditorium with __(Poet 1)__. We look for empty seats together. We find two seats together and there seems to be a third I can hold for __(Poet 2)__. It's empty so I try to take it but Jack Nicholson says he's using it. He says he needs two because his wife is pregnant. I don't think he needs two and try to take it. I argue with him. __(Poet 3)__ and __(Poet 4)__ in the rows behind think I'm being a bitch for arguing for this chair. Or the way I argue. It just seems unfair. If I stand up for myself, I'm asking for it. Poets in the back rows are throwing wads of paper at me. __(Poet 5)__ comes up to __(Poet 2)__ and says that Walton Goggins (a boy in one of my dream high school classes) is saying some really means things about me. He really can't stand me. I like him and this hurts my feelings. I want him to like me. I get up and walk around the auditorium, in front of the rows of other kids who don't like me. I try to keep my composure.


* * *

A woman briefly dated _____. She brings _____ to a building under construction because he has to pee on something. Then she's going to jump off a building to sacrifice herself for some greater cause. _____ is watching, but he's not real concerned that she's going to kill herself. He's sitting, doing something with his arms, like he's pretending to drive. As the woman stands on the edge she realizes that something is about to explode. She runs off, I assume to protect _____ and others. The explosion happens within seconds. I assume she dies. _____ is OK. I ask _____ what was the woman's name. He can't remember, they only dated for a few days.


* * *

_____ trims his/her eyebrows. I do exactly what s/he does, but it’s way too short and there’s a bald spot in my eyebrows. There’s a discussion about whether or not eyebrows should be trimmed at all.

guess the dream poet -- part 3 (2012)

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I'm watching a political debate. _____ is the new candidate and s/he's debating John McCain, Mitt Romney and other old establishment, conservative candidates. S/he's calling them out on cruelty and other terrible things (like war). McCain goes after _____, mentions something about the 60's and then points out that _____ wasn't even alive during the 60's. _____ acknowledges this, then s/he pauses and it seems like s/he's stumped or thrown off, there's silence, but then _____ responds. The people in the audience likes what s/he has to say.


* * *

I go into a Safeway and walk around the bakery, but don't see what I want so I go to another grocery store. I seem to be planning for dinner (buying vegetables) and dessert (looking for a cake or something). I get 4 doughnut holes to try to them out, 2 chocolate and 2 caramel. I'm eating them. _____ seems ticked that I'm not sharing. But I plan to share the big dessert, whenever I get it.


* * *


I'm upset with _____, how s/he criticizes something that s/he takes part in, like watching the OctoMom on TV.


* * *


We stop at a sorbet/ice cream store. As I try to walk in __(Poet 1)__ is standing in front of me, blocking the way. S/he's still complaining about how s/he was wronged at dinner. I try to pass a few times. Finally I say excuse me really loud and walk past him/her. __(Poet 2)__ is behind the counter, offering to scoop ice cream..


* * *


I give a toast at a wedding. It's funny and people laugh. The next toast is given by _____. S/he goes on a bit too long, gushes a bit too much and acts like a weirdo poet. In a poetry setting this might be OK, but here it's too much and people are uncomfortable, weirded out by it. I'm in a weird position because I can't align myself too much with _____, but I can't discount how creeped out everyone else is by what s/he's saying. My sister is grimacing.

guess the dream poet - part 2 (2012)

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I'm at some place -- a store? a place for a reading? _____ is here. Or s/he's not. I'm either embracing him/her or his/her memory. His/her mother died and s/he died not long after. His/her father was sick for a long time and it seemed like he'd be the first to go, but now he's the last. He's alone.


* * *

I'm walking in the Reston Town Center and see ____ walking down the sidewalk. I say hello. _____ doesn't recognize me at first. I say "Rebecca Livingston," "Reb Livingston." I say it really fast, but s/he understands. ____ says that s/he will be on Chopped. In this dream, Chopped assigns 1 of 4 hairstylists to work on _____'s hair. Maybe it'll be the hairstylist who is most drawn to his/her hair. S/he's a little nervous.

____ says s/he's headed towards the Poetry Foundation and asks if they have an office here in the Town Center. I tell him/her yes, I know, I've been there but I don't get invited too often. I make them nervous because I speak directly and what's on my mind. I have issues with the Poetry Foundation.


* * *

I'm at a fancy hotel for a work conference. I sit on a small sofa. A young man sits next to me. We both rest each other's heads against one another. He looks to me and says he wants a baby. A symphony begins. _____ is sitting in front of me. All of a sudden s/he is painted with shimmering paint all over his/her shirtless body. _____ begins playing the violin with the orchestra. Everyone claps. I tell someone that _____ is amazing. S/he's a poet, violinist and an oncologist.


* * *

I'm telling _____ about the hummus and veggie sandwich at Cosi. S/he seems interested.


* * *

guess the dream poet - part 1 (2012)

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

A lecture is about to start. ______ comes up and says something snotty, inferring that I've been cruel to him related to matters of the heart. I snap. I yell about how I never did anything to imply that I was ever romantically interested and that he made it all up in his head. I yell that I'm married. ______ isn't the first guy to complain about this and I've had about enough.


* * *


I'm sitting at a dinner table with other people. This is our last meal before the Hunger Games. Somebody points out the Neverending Porch. I never noticed it before so I walk to it. At first it seems like a normal porch. I walk to one side and nothing is strange about it. I look to the other side and it seems different from when I first glanced over. The ground is soft and wet like we're on the edge of a pond. When you touch the air, it's bouncy, like water, like a portal. On the other side I see the pond. ______ runs right through the portal. We watch him splash around in the water. There's a large water snake that ______ seems to be taunting. I yell for him to save his energy for tomorrow's Hunger Games.


* * *

__(Poet 1)__ drops me off at a psychiatric hospital. I go in for medication. __(Poet 2)__ arrives too. I go through a drawer to help __(Poet 2)__ find some clothing that will fit him/her.

I go to a bakery stand. My usual cinnamon doughnuts aren't available. After looking at my options, I decide to get a dozen chocolate doughnuts. Not something I'd usually get now, although its something I would have in the past. __(Poet 3)__ tries to talk me out of it and points me towards a cinnamon scone. But I've made my decision, I want the dozen chocolate doughnuts. __(Poet 3)__ is very persistent. I get annoyed. I tell the manager that it's a good thing I've taken my medication today.


* * *

______ is here with her/his young daughter. ______ is spraying her with rubbing alcohol and perfume to make it smell like the daughter has been drinking. ______ thinks this will be a funny joke. Then ______ sprays the daughter's mouth with the alcohol and perfume so her breath smells like it. The perfume is oily and runs down her chin. This crosses the line.