Tuesday, February 23, 2010

she's so unusual

Position: 8th House - Mystery
Ace of Wands

You have access to all kinds of mysterious and powerful inner energies, but lack any real direction. Getting unusually close to others can provide you with the right clues.

I agree, I am feeling immensely directionless. In 2010 so far I've written ten poems and they each feel like WTF. None of them are right. They're clunky and plain and missing something. I'm inhabiting a creative space of inklings unable to go any further. I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to be quiet. I'm trying to listen. I am quite resistant to the idea of "getting unusually close to others" -- no offense, but there's nobody I want to be "unusually close" with.

What the hell does that mean anyway?

Sharing toothbrushes and underpants?

Position: 5th House - Creative Identity
The Fool

The Fool upside down shows that you may be momentarily naive and foolish and probably don't want to admit the extent to which your judgment is currently clouded. Try to be objective and understand that this confusion is typical when new ideas emerge from your deeper self. Dreams can inspire you to unique insights.

I was a little bit bummed out this afternoon. No Tell Books held two book giveaways at Goodreads for both Karl's and my books. People who win the giveaways are encouraged to review the books on the site. The first review came in today. Two stars (out of five) with the comment: "This is a book that has appeal for a specialized group of readers. Lovers of good poetry and readers of fantasy may or may not find the combination of the two something you will enjoy."

Well, that's what I get for trying to broaden my audience.

Readers may or may not enjoy God Damsel.

You heard it here first.

I appreciate that someone took the time to read and consider my book. I can't fault him for not liking it. It certainly is a strange collection. I have to learn to be cool with these kinds of responses.

I have to figure out what it means to "practice unattachment."

I already googled it.

Google asked: "Did you mean: practice non attachment?"

I don't know.

Is that what I meant?

Position: 1st House - Personality
Four of Swords

This card upright shows awareness of allowing chaotic situations to govern you and the right counsel of taking time off to detach and meditate in a solitary situation.

Gideon was with me when I first read the review. He told me not to think about it. He told me to never read it again.

He suggested that maybe the reviewer was mad because I was supposed to buy his book, but didn't.

Gideon already understands community!

My little genius.

You should hear him talk about his book. It's called The Snowman and it's about a guy who shovels a lot of snow. He's created an entire reality where Collin Kelley contacted him by phone and offered to publish the book. Gideon was so excited when he received that imaginary phone call we went out and celebrated over dinner.

You should totally buy it.

I'm grooming him to become my assistant because I'm not messing with anymore interns.

He's five now. That's qualified enough.

Position: 11th House - Future Potential
The Hierophant

The High Priest leaning to the left shows a strong desire to be seen and heard and an attachment to other peoples opinions that makes things difficult. You may feel that others treat you like an object, but this can be a reflection of how you see yourself. It is important to trust your own sense of balance and what is right.

I am not an object, I am not an object, I am not an object.

Position: 12th House - Sacrifice
The Hermit

The Hermit leaning to the right shows that although you must honor your relationships, now is the time to spend time alone to regain perspective. Although in a relationship, you are actually isolated from others.

Probably because everyone expects me to become unusually close with them.

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