Friday, September 3, 2010

My 20 year high school reunion is this weekend. As I mentioned last month, Chris purchased new clothes for his reunion. I thought it only fair that I too get a new outfit. This afternoon I attempted to shop using the "cool" or "successful" gauge that the salesman taught Chris.

I quickly decided that was a shallow-ass way to shop for dresses. I tried on a few dresses that said "Oh look at me me, I'm totally hot, now don't you wish you asked me to prom, you pot-bellied motherfucker."

I questioned who such a message would be directed at and it struck me as a not very nice message. Besides, I'm somebody's mother now.

I found a dress that I absolutely love. It's not exactly a nighttime dress, but the first thing I thought was "this is me." The saleswoman tried to talk me out of it. She said, oh yes, the dress looks very nice on you, but everybody has a dress like that.

"Everybody has a dress with a bird and elk print?" I asked. She backtracked and said, well, no, but everyone has a dress in that style. She thought I should select one of the hottie dresses.

I know this may be my last reunion where my breasts are still north of my belly button, but I just wasn't feeling it.

Maybe I'm a big asshole and when I walk into the reunion everyone will laugh and laugh and it'll turn out like something out of Carrie, but I'm risking it. I dream of birds and elk. This is my slightly strange little dress.

And it's BEIGE, just like those $35 beige underpants.

I happen to like beige.

There, I said it.


  1. I'm pretty sure I tried on that dress today at Anthropologie. But I won't be at your reunion so no worries. :)

  2. Omigod, did you buy it? That's MY dress. Last night Chris pointed out to me that they weren't elk but white tailed deer.

  3. Anthropologie is my favorite store in the world. Their dresses are fantastic so if you bought it there you'll look amazing. But then again even if you bought it at JC Penny you'd still be rockin the suburbs cuz you're Reb.

  4. I didn't by it yet. But I might. :) Looks great on you, by the way. Maybe I'll get it and we can both wear it to AWP and be dress twins instead of no-voice twins. It would be a step up.