Friday, September 4, 2009

Chris' beloved Uncle Peter passed away so we'll be headed up to NYC sometime next week for his memorial service.

I experienced the panic I experience with every funeral, the oh my god, how am I going to travel for a funeral when I already have scheduled ________. I'm getting better at it now. After my initial panic attack, I'm now able to switch to a calmer disposition pretty quickly. It'll be OK to cancel appointments, miss a preschool orientation or even Gideon missing his first day of preschool, if need be. I missed the first day of 11th grade and look how well I turned out.

While sometimes confusing, my dreams of late are true gifts of insight and guidance. For instance, last night I dreamed that we took the train to NYC for Peter's service. Because Chris had to buy tickets at the last minute, all that was left was "deluxe" class. On the train I realized I hardly packed anything, except a few things like a toothbrush. While a little apprehensive, I decided it was a relief not have to carry a bunch of stuff around. In our cabin there were drawers and cupboards filled with "angel" chocolate bars and "spiritual" activity books for Gideon among the Reese Cups and Swiss Miss cocoa. There was even a door that led to a chapel. The attendant asked if I wanted her to show me the bar, and I was all "hell yeah!" She poured me a glass of sparkling water, which I drank as I mentally planned champagne for my next drink. Then I remembered I was pregnant and reconsidered the champagne. Chris and I walked out another door, which at first I thought was a rooftop patio on the train. There were random businessmen milling around. But we weren't outside, we were inside a dome that was showing something like a movie. It was breathtaking. It was sky and energy and who knows what else. Chris grabbed my hand and we walked around, right through some water. I wanted to turn around because I was worried I'd ruin my shoes and get blisters if they got wet. We kept walking and then the movie turned scary -- we were confronted with monsters, demons and fire, they were saying Mothra. We knew this was a movie, so we remained calm but we were unnerved. We slowly stepped back as the monsters and demons approached.

It was really a beautiful dream, going on a spiritual journey with my family, and sure, yeah, we were gonna have to face our demons and a touch of hellfire, but hey, isn't that what a spiritual journey is all about? Angel chocolate, remembering you're pregnant and Mothra?


  1. I'm terribly sorry for your loss and for the loss in your family. My condolences, Reb.

  2. Sorry to hear this, Reb. Take care of yourself.
    When you get back, I'm going to ask you about a dream of moving to my new town (Napa) and how it was full of seals, and I was happy because I thought I'd miss the seals in San Diego but in the dream I thought "I won't miss them; Napa is full of seals!" There were seals on a dock and even in the sidewalk drains. Interpretation may be - I'm crazy about seals.