Friday, October 23, 2009

Gideon said he wanted to go to a haunted house. We took him. We explained how it was going to be people in scary costumes, pretending to be monsters and using their imaginations. We asked the haunted house staff for the "mild" treatment. They obliged, the actors softened their performances, our guide didn't take us into the scariest rooms.

It was a horrible mistake. We almost made it out with just trembling and wincing, but then . . . then came the fucking clown.

It was all over after that.

Tonight we earned Gideon at least a year of therapy.

Speaking of right and wrong, Big Parade Pisser, Rauan Klassnik, interviews me at HTMLGIANT.


  1. Everyone knows how awful clowns are. Now Gideon is on his way to being a true artist what with his little clown demon seed and Dr. Thompson bent and all.

    ps. Awesome interview.

  2. Was it a Pennywise-type clown like from Stephen King? That's the scariest clown ever.

  3. Oh man. My mom took me to a haunted house when I was seven, and she still laughs about how I literally crawled up her body and perched on top of her head screaming. A big, screaming hat. They probably should have hired us on the spot...we were most alarming.

    There were no clowns, thank goodness, so I escaped clown-fear. But, as a result of that little venture, axe-wielding football coaches hold are high on my phobia list. (Also...this was a haunted house held at my elementary school. What were they thinking!)

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  5. I love you, reb. Everytime I read your mom-adventures, I look over at my grown kids and sigh. You are doing a great job.

    It will be all right. OTOH both brats are back home at 21 and 25. I blame Bush and Cheney.

  6. Gideon seems fine now, which must mean he's repressing it all. Hopefully he'll keep it all bottled up until long after he's moved out of my house. :)

  7. Clowns should be illegal. In Seattle we have a horrid thing called Seafair and there are PIRATES-guys who dress like pirates and take themselves way too seriously, and, of course, they are a variation on the noxious clown theme. Yetch.