* * *
_______ is working on a PhD. There's something wrong with _______, some kind of alzheimer's and he/she seems to be slowly loosing it. There's a bunch of hypodermic needles and some kind of serum that he/she's supposed to inject him/herself with. A girl I don't like from high school is here teasing/bullying _______. I tell the bully to stop. I ask _______ how much longer he/she needs to finish her PhD., I'm worried he/she'll have lost his/her mind before she completes it. He/she has one more class to take and then he/she has to write her thesis -- so I'm guessing 2-3 years, maybe. I'm worried that's too long. _______ says that his/her advisor believes that he/she's really improved recently and a level he/she hasn't been before. I don't share that opinion.
I'm cleaning up and putting all of _______'s needles back into a case. Some of the needles get stuck in my shin and calf. I pull them out. I'm hoping these aren't the needles that _______ has already used, I'm concerned about being infected with something.
* * *
There's a rivalry between __(poet 1)__ and __(poet 2)__. I'm staying out of it. __(Poet 1) is acting like he/she doesn't really care about it, but I hear from some guy that __(poet 1)__ has a plan to send __(poet 2) to jail in 30 minutes. I have no problem with __(poet 2) going to jail, but I don't want to be part of anything that's not on the up and up. I don't want to frame __(poet 2)__. I just want him/her to go away.
* * *
Canadian poets want to talk to me. Every Canadian poet except __(poet 1)__.
I'm in __(poet 2)__'s office which is a tent. His/her desk is covered with unorganized papers. He/she gives me a six figure check that Canadian poets raised for Barack Obama that he/she wants me to deliver. __(Poet 2)__ also gives a second paper for me. I put both items in my purse to keep them safe. When __(poet 2)__ leaves, I look for some note paper to leave him/her a thank you note, but everything is already written on, include all of the stick-it notes. I cross-stitch a quick note that says "Canadian Poets Rock."
__(Poet 2)__ returns and unstitches my lettering because he/she thinks its sloppy and wants to redo it.
I am insulted.
I am insulted.
* * *
Chris and I are talking about _______'s work. Chris believes _______'s second book contains all his/her woman poems whereas his/her first book contains all his/her penis poems. I say that I don't know. _______ has written a lot of poems.
* * *
I'm talking to a class about Flarf. I can't see the class. Someone challenges me about Flarf, says I don't know any Flarf. So I name names. I mention __(poet 1)__ and __(poet 2)__. A fancy Lexus drives by. A woman in the back seat holds her glass out the window. She wants some of __(poet 2)__'s bourbon. __(Poet 2)__ pours her a glass.
I tell the students that my favorite Flarf book is by __(poet 3)__. I say how one time I sent __(poet 3)__'s publisher, __(poet 4)__, some money for some work that he/she never did. I want to teach his/her book, but it's out-of-print. So I'm using a computer program that converts the out-of-print book into a new file format. It's making a drawing of a high heel shoe with a pointy toe. Each short line, from point to point, is a line from a poem in the book. It's all connected.
Poets converge on __(poet 4)__'s house to help him/her with the press. __(Poet 5)__ enters holding a bag of golf clubs and tennis balls. He/she explains how he/she helped a woman lose weight. Someone makes a snotty comment, "Oh, let me guess, you told her to eat less and exercise more."