Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 5 (2014)

Guess which dream poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

It's an intermission performance supposedly to promote something at a big, fenced-in wrestling ring. Writers in costumes walk by and go in. ____ wearing a costume goes in. Something with wheels goes over ____'s body and presses ____ against the fence. ____ is very injured. One of the wheels crushed part of his/her neck.

Something resets and it's right before the performance. There are some old women testing the thing with the metal wheels. I tell them to make sure they're careful, that ____  is fragile and can easily be hurt. The old woman agrees that ____ is just a tiny thing.

Then I go and try to warn ____. I even offer to wear the suit myself (although I don't really want to). ____ declines. I try to warn ____'s spouse. The spouse doesn't listen. I tell him/her that I've seen this happen already and ____ gets hurt.

I'm not sure if I did enough to prevent or improve the situation.

* * *

I'm helping ____ move. Other people were supposed to show up, but haven't, including his/her brother -- who clearly blew him/her off and drove right past and on to another state. The brother left a rope (that's connected to him?). I ask ____ if he wants to use this rope to help him/herself move and he/she says yes. I think we're going to drag some things using the rope.

A large family arrives a few minutes late,  here to help ____. There's several children. Now we have lots of help and the mood changes.

* * *

I'm collecting paper utensils for ____. I see a friend and she tells me that people who eat with forks have a higher suicide rate. I tell her that we only need four ounces of meat every few days to get enough protein.

* * *

I'm on the phone with ____. He/she asks me to read my hedgehog dreams to him/her. I search my database and it turns out that I have a few. I read one to him/her.

* * *

_Poet 1_ is talking about how he/she can't do something that he/she used to do, I think because it reminds his/her of her ex-spouse. I ask _Poet 1_ & _Poet 2_ if the horse races still happen and one of them says yes. _Poet 3_ is sad that we don't go to the horse races anymore.  _Poet 1_ says he/she isn't going to the race anymore. _Poet 3_ needs to accept this.

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 4 (2014)

Guess which dream poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

_Poet 1_is a high-strung aggressive and addicted to cocaine.

I throw a party with cocaine but now _Poet 1_ has quit. _Poet 1_ is acting strange, like he/she is going through withdrawal. I make a joke to _Poet 2_ about how I bought all this cocaine, but _Poet 1_ won't use it.

I ask _Poet 1_ if he/she knows Noodle House Peter. _Poet 1_ does not. I tell _Poet 1_ that Peter was a teenage genius and now he's the one who sets the time. I'm trying to get to the butt crack part of the Russia House story, but I'm not getting there.

* * *

____ asks me if I'm ready to participate in the play. I say that I'm not sure. ____ says that's understandable, it can be a little uncomfortable. I'm assuming this is a reference to race relations.

* * *

A man is flirting with me. I don't appreciate it and of ease myself away from him. Later I find out it's ____.

* * *

_Poet 1__ has been watching my dog, Loki. I ask _Poet 1_ where he left Loki so I can go get him. _Poet 1_ doesn't want me to go because I'm naked. I'm Ok with being naked, but _Poet 1_ feels like he/she has to protect me. _Poet 1_says he/she'll go get Loki.

_Poet 2_ gets Loki from the pet hotel. I remember that I left Loki with the poets. To make _Poet 1_ feel better, I ask _Poet 2_ to get me something to cover myself with. _Poet 2_ comes back with a large Hello Kitty towel. 

* * *

I'm walking down a trail and come across a large grouping of babies all sitting as if they're in a group class picture. ____ is here. One of the babies is his/hers. I make a comment that all the babies are likely disturbing people, but oh well. We both go to get our babies, but all the babies are surrounded by puddles of pee. Neither ____ nor I have any shoes or socks on so we have to walk through the pee. I tell ____ that I'm used to dealing with my own son's pee, but all these different babies' pee is a bit much.

* * *

A baker is having an argument with ____. They've been friends for years, but it seems like that's ended.

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 3 (2014)

Guess which dream poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I'm a class with _Poet 1_. I mention _Poet 2_, who's been on the run from something. I tell _Poet 1_ that I've heard from _Poet 2_ since he/she's been on the run. _Poet 2_ has been leaving me messages about innocuous things, like _Poet 3_ poems.

* * *

I'm in front of a horse barn at some kind of event, like a small Woodstock. It's a yearly thing. ____ is in charge of it. ____ explains that during the event, the horse barn will be taken down and anyone performing while the barn is taken down will be given some kind of extra compensation or perk: being allowed to perform naked.

I'm nostalgic and wish the barn would remain up, but I don't feel especially strongly about it. I'm on a circular zipline that goes above the barn and I can survey the event. A few people are still coming, but it's small, like 30 people or so. I wish the event would bring more people.

There's some kind of voting that's going on,. I say that since we're Americans, we should all vote for each other. There's a box for a woman, my name is in it somehow -- it's some kind of artistic role. I'm wondering it I'll get the role, if ____ and the others will write my name in the box.

* * *

A shirtless ____ says that he/she wants to show me something. ____ lifts me up and carries me. I feel a little strange because I'm not wearing a bra under my shirt. ____ carries me around for a while and we walk out onto a busy city street, he/she gets lost and can't find what he/she wants to show me. We go into a night club with a large dance floor.

* * *

_Poet 1_, _Poet 2_ and I work for a woman who is starting a new project to help homeless gay teens. She wants us to research companies that do professional dumpster diving. This is how she wants to find food for these homeless kids. I do a google search and can't seem to find any professional dumpster divers, so I expand my search professional salvagers. But I'm troubled by this project. I talk to _Poet 1_ and _Poet 2_ about how food kitchens don't get food out of the dumpsters, in fact they won't even take expired canned food. I feel like our boss has a very narrow idea how she can help these kids.

* * *

____ is giving a lecture on collaboration. It's unlike any way I've thought about it before. I start writing notes on a sheet of paper. I'm embarrassed about the simplicity of my notes and how I'm not really prepared for this panel like I thought I was. ___ tries to look at my notes, but I cover them up.

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 2 (2014)

Guess which dream poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I'm sitting with a family. The boy is just learning how to play his trumpet. The father is lying on the same sofa that I'm sitting on. He's ____ and he keeps kicking me, pushing me with his feet and legs. I tell him to stop, but he won't. I'm getting angry, like I'm going to do something back to him soon if he doesn't stop.

* * *

I'm on a dark bus sitting next to ____. Somebody comes by and gets his/her name wrong. ____ is very offended. I don't really remember ____ name either. It starts with a J (Jete?), but the person said something that starts with a G. Getting the G and J mixed up seems to be what offends him/her the most.

* * *

____ is here sitting at a table with my family. I join them. My family is telling ____ writer-related stories. They're making fun of how I'm so to-the-point and interested in getting the facts right. An aunt makes a comment about Paris and the lights of the Eiffel Tower. I say, so basically you're saying I was an asshole to you in Paris. We all laugh. My grandmother tells a story about how she made a comment about some kind of ancient metal engraved object and how I pointed out all the inaccuracies of her comments, the dates, my birthday and dismissed everything she claimed with facts. We laugh although it's a little embarrassing to hear them talk about me as a writer.

* * *

I'm napping in a toddler car seat. ____ sits on top of me. He/she hardly weighs anything, so I don't say anything. Then his/her girlfriend climbs on and together they're too heavy. I tell them to get off. ____ tells his/her girlfriend that I'm infirm implying I'm old and falling apart. I tell people about this.

* * * 

A book by ____ has won an award. A blonde FoxNews anchorwoman aired a very offensive, racist and sexist segment on the book that upset people. Maybe she was trying to be funny, but she wasn't. She loses her job over it. She had poor judgement on the whole thing.

I have the book. I'm cutting out segments of poems and putting in newer editions of the poems. Part way through I realize that the version of the book I have is older, from the 80s or something. It's won a Pushcart or something, but the version everyone is talking about is the newer version, a selected. My version is called something like "Magic" but the newer version is something like "Capital Magic." I wish I didn't mess with the poems now, but it's too late.

* * *

I'm trying to wind up ____ to say something obnoxious about poetry. He/she says that he/she's watching everything like nuclear reactors, but right now, nothing is going off. I make some jokes and then leave.

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 1 (2014)

Guess which dream poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

* * *

I'm at a conference hotel. G has has beaten _____ to death. ____'s body lays next to the hotel door. My plan is to pack up ____'s things and have him/her be found somewhere not related to the hotel.

G has killed ____ a different way. G poisoned some kind of sticker that ____ put on like a mustache on his/her lips. I put a similar sticker on my lips, knowing this, but mine wasn't poisoned. In this scenario, I'm going to leave ____'s body and his/her stuff at the hotel to be found. I'll act like that when we left, he/she was still alive.

* * *

I'm taking a bunch of improptu/unstaged pictures of people walking around. I focus on four people. One is _Poet 1_. I'm say that I never post photographs of people that I believe are unflattering and if someone disagrees and wants me to remove a picture, I always do. In this case I'm thinking of _poet 2_ and _Poet 3_.

* * *

I see ____ bitching out a woman for not being a very good friend. When the woman walks away, I go up to her. We walk up a flight of stairs and I explain how I have to work with ____ and how challenging that is because ____ won't speak to me. We get to long wall, sort of like the wall of China, where people are walking to see the Aurora Borealis. This must be where I thought was too cold for me to be.

* * *

I'm locked in a bathroom. ____ just gave birth. The baby is still in sac and in the toilet. I pull the baby out of the toilet. It's a girl. She starts to breathe and seems very calm. I pull her out of the sac and she cries. I look for a towel to wrap her in. I need to get her out of this locked bathroom.

* * *

I'm a reunion with _Poet 1_ and _Poet 2_. _Poet 2_ is drunk and speaking incoherently about his books. I try to explain what he/she is talking about. I look around and notice that the bar is clearing out.

The Dream Poet Anthology - 2014

Below are the names of poets who made appearances or were mentioned in my dreams during 2014. Some of these poets I know well, others are acquaintances and some are complete strangers. If you find your name is on this list and you do not know me, it means that I know of you via your work or reputation and my psyche has attached some type of meaning or symbolism on you to represent something. My psyche seems to be highly influenced by social media these days. Maybe I follow you on Twitter? Maybe somebody I follow retweeted one of your tweets? Maybe you post really obnoxious Facebook updates that haunt me late at night? 

Or maybe it means something else completely. Who can say with any certainty what a dream means?

Just don't ask me for details of the dream. Seriously, don't. Every year people disregard this note and ask me. It's usually people who appeared in my dreams as corpses. So for the sake of everyone's mental health, I'm not telling you. 

2014 Contributors:

Deborah Ager, Abdul Ali, John Ashbery, Jennifer Barnes, Sandra Beasley, Russell Bennetts, April Bernard, Ted Berrigan, Tara Betts, Julie Bloemeke, Anne Boyer, Ana Božičević, Lily Brown, Blake Butler, George Gordon Byron, Alex Cigale, Lucille Clifton, Joshua Clover, Shanna Compton, Nicole Cooley, John Cotter, Bruce Covey, Robert Creeley, Mark Cugini, Jon Dallas, Jereme Dean, Toi Derricotte, Michelle Detorie, Sharon Dilworth, Thomas Sayers Ellis, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Tarfia Faizullah, 
James Franco, Elisa Gabbert, Roxane Gay, Amy Gerstler, Bernadette Geyer, Tyler Gobble, Kenny Goldsmith, Tod Goldberg, Nada Gordon, Noah Eli Gordon, Lea Graham, Kaplan Harris, Stacey Harwood, Brenda Hillman, David McDonald, Yona Harvey, Terrance Hayes, Matthew Henrikson, Alan King, Amy King, Collin Kelley, Charles Jensen, Alden Jones, Steven Karl, Wendi Kaufman, Alan King, Rauan Klassnik, Jennifer L. Knox, John Edward Lawson, Sueyeun Juliette Lee, David Lehman, Patricia Lockwood, Rebecca Loudon, Dora Malech, Tony Mancus, Joe Massey, Monica McClure, David McDonald, Gina Myers, Micki Myers, Alice Notley, Hoa Nguyen, Ed Ochester, Danielle Pafunda, Camille Paglia, G.M. Palmer, Craig Santos Perez, Jessica Piazza, Vanessa Place, PF Potvin, Nate Pritts, Liam Rector, DJ Renegade, Adam Robinson, Steve Roggenbuck, Kathleen Rooney, Carly Sachs, Allyson Salazar, Metta Sama, Zachary Schomburg, Danniel Schoonebeek, Laura Ellen Scott, Rion Amilcar Scott, Kim Gek Lin Short, Sandra Simonds, Laura Sheahen, Laurel Snyder, Dale Smith, Rod Smith, Brian Spears, Nicole Steinberg, Jill Stengel, Sheila Squilante, Art Taylor, Brent Terry, Maureen Thorson, Tony Tost, Sarah Vap, Rich Villar, Fritz Ward, Betsy Wheeler, Joshua Marie Wilkinson, Dustin Williamson, L. Lamar Wilson, Walt Whitman, Sam Witt, Alyssa Wolf, Rebecca Wolff, C. Dale Young, Dean Young, Slavoj Žižek

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: I'm a writer, but not a poet. Why am I included on a poet list?
A: Simmer down and accept the compliment.

Q: Can I submit my work for next year's anthology?
A: This anthology only accepts psychic submissions. Submit to my unconscious and perhaps you will be allowed in.

Q: Does my appearing on this list mean that you are obsessed with or stalking me? 
A: Possibly. 

Q: Will you tell me the details of the dream I appeared in? 
A: No, absolutely not. Assume the dream was totally demented and would disturb you a great deal. I will not tell you.

Q: I'm a poet and I'm psychically awesome, why aren't I included in this anthology?
A: There are three possible reasons you are not included:

1. You didn't appear in my dreams in 2014. Resolve in 2015 to be more ambitious psychically.
2. You did appear in my dreams, but I don't remember. I forget many dreams. Your omission is a simple case of editorial oversight. You were screwed, unintentionally.
3. You did appear in my dreams, but I am loathe to publicly admit such a thing. This applies to a small percentage of poets appearing in my dreams. Your omission is a simple case of editorial bias. You were screwed, intentionally.

Mad Poet Libs:

Guess the Dream Poet - Part 5 (2014)

Past anthologies:

The Dream Poet Anthology 2013

The Dream Poet Anthology 2012

The Dream Poet Anthology 2011

The Dream Poet Anthology 2010

The Dream Poet Anthology 2009

Monday, December 22, 2014

Merry Christmas, Hope You Like Self Absorbed Rubbish!

I turn 42 on Thursday. Time flies when you're ruling the world.

So here's a little write up by Rauan over at Queen Mob's Teahouse about a review of Bombyonder:

(sighhhhhhhhh) I wish this review had been written about my work. Being compared to Stein and Burroughs! And, really, the reviewer seems to be harboring in his/her over-the-top disgust a kind of admiration and fascination for the work. It’s like the prude in him/her doesn’t want to fall prey to the magic of “ALL those acid induced ideas” (not to mention the abundance of all the “cock” and “penis.”)

Speaking of Queen Mob, I've written two new Dreamsplainings, one for Matthew Hittinger and the other for Kirsten Kaschock.

If you want to read Bombyonder (or at least the first part) with a soundtrack, well you can do that here.

Was informed via the comments on this blog that I made 101 at "Scarriet's Hot 100" which means I'm sorta hot, right?

Yep, I still got it.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Eileen Tabios Reviews Bombyonder in GALATEA RESURRECTS #23

I want to say: the above excerpt (like the rest of the book) strikes me as the kind of stuff that can be written by someone who doesn’t suffer fools well.  But that’s just me having fun.  What I should note is that my focus in genre stems from hearing stuff about the work's genre—what is it?—prior to its release and before I came to read it.  One of the blurbers, Lindsay Hill, even says it is “its own genre.”  But actually, I easily recognize a genre for this book.  It’s the howl
I sense the howl because one of the book’s biggest strengths is voice (yep, voice the old-fashioned way).  The strength of the voice is not that it’s a howl but that it stays strong and consistent from beginning to end—indeed, it’s not just consistent but ratchets up in intensity as one goes deeper into the book.  The author was “on”—in that space of the author being the pen rather than the one wielding the pen for words that alchemized their own urgency for existence—as she wrote out this project—but she was on for an entire 343 pages and that’s impressive. 
Howl.  Wilderness.   More actually, wild.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Dreamsplaining at Queen Mob's Teahouse

Another recurring feature I'm doing at Queen Mob's Teahouse is Dreamsplaining which I introduce here:

Bored with traditional profile pieces & interviews? Me too! Here I will introduce writers and artists via their psyches by sharing one of their dreams and then explaining it. The unconscious doesn’t lie or bloviate, so we can bypass all the bullshit and get to know these misunderstood souls in-depth and truly understand them, better than they understand themselves, thanks to my top-notch dream analysis skills.

My first misunderstood soul who I set straight is Simeon Berry and there's plenty more to follow. My job has just begun.