Friday, December 31, 2010

guess the dream poet - part 4

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

I'm at a table with other people. We have to decide whether or not we're going to enter into some kind of challenge. It's four parts and there are deadly consequences. For the first challenge we have to select a particular button on a dog's collar. If we don't agree to to accept the challenge, the dog blows up. If we do, we have to press the accept button on the collar. __(poet 1)__ is participating in the challenge, but I also suspect that he's the one behind it. We press the button to accept the challenge and save the dog's life. Two women are controlling the mouse, this is being timed, the second thing we have to do is click on the button to proceed or __(poet 2)__ blows up. The decision is made last minute, each woman has selected a different button. I'm not sure if that's an accident or intentional meaning if they had different opinions or just weren't working well together. We decide to save __(poet 2)__ although it seems likes the button was clicked a second after the deadline and now I'm wondering if perhaps the dog and __(poet 2)__ might not have really exploded. Maybe __(poet 1)__ is just using the threat of explosion as an incentive.

* * *

I get on a rocket ship. __(poet 1)__ is in charge of the launch. I put on soft rubber shoes and special protective goggles to get ready for take off. I notice that in my bag there's double and I assume I'm supposed to share with __(poet 2)__ who's in the pod to my right. I notice in the pod to my left is Chris, aleep. I didn't realized that Chris was coming too. There's a real chance that we might never come back, so I quickly write a last will and testament on my cell phone in regard to Gideon's care. I also note that whoever gets Gideon, gets all of our money and possessions to take care of him. I try to email this to family members, but I'm not sure if I typed in the emails addresses correctly. I panic, I get off the rocket and hurry up and try to finish the will and leave copies that can also be found.

* * *

There was a national writing cabin, but it burned down. The Obamas had a new one built. It's beautiful and amazing. It was one of the first things they did when he got into office. Obama said, "put (the large amount) on the credit card and tell them I said to do it."

I'm considering renting a writing cabin. Either the national one or another that's relatively close by or one in Vermont that's far away. I'm thinking about announcing it and inviting other writers. I consider telling ______ we're full if he/she asks to join us.

* * *

I see _____. I'm very warm and affectionate with him/her. He/she tells me I'm pronouncing his/her name wrong. I'm pronouncing it ______as I saw him/her once explain in an interview, but he/she says it's pronounced something like O -Tn - O. I keep trying to say it, but I'm not sure I'm saying it right. I tell ______ about a writer who is even a bigger, more obnoxious self-promoter than he/she is. Then I introduce ______ to Chris. _____ makes a comment about Chris' sideburns looking really American. I say that Chris is really American, except he doesn't watch football. I give _____ a kiss goodbye. I try to say his/her name again, look back to ask if I said it right, but _____ is already sitting at a table working, so we keep going.

guess the dream poet - part 3

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

Chris and I drive past a bunch of large red "clay" snakes (large, cobra shaped). We try to avoid the snakes, but we get to a large house where we meet the Queen. We try to deceive her as we get away. We run, we try to avoid the snakes, running on the road, but they're there too. There's small room that we tried to escape out of. The door has a small hole in it. I have some type of poisonous spray--Chris is angry that I didn't tell him that I had it earlier. We could have trapped the Queen in the room and filled it with poison. I go towards the Queen. In it's human form--it's ______. I start to spray her with the poison, but she has her own poison spray and she sprays me back. I become consumed and begin to fall.

* * *

There are monsters all around and nobody is allowed to fight them. We're all terrorized. I start fighting them with the help of ______. There's a penalty for fighting the monsters, but I don't care. I fight the monsters like they were fought in ancient literature. I invoke Beowulf and other mythology. There's a baby that lures people near it, but when it gets into the water, it's a large monster. The key to killing this monster is killing it as a baby on land. I shoot the monster baby.

There are three animals that help us fight the monsters. One is a cat that can turn the monsters into stone. Another animal has four teeth that are numbered. Now we're really taking care of the monsters.

A vote is held -- most people are going to vote against the elders. We agree that we all need to fight the monsters.

* * *

I come home and find _____ having sex with a woman on my stove. ______ is my husband. I go upstairs feeling very depressed and sad. A man comes out of my bathroom. He's good looking, well-built and his name is Don. He also has scars and scratches on his chest. I think I'm supposed to recognize him from somewhere.

* * *

__(poet 1)__ is leaving message on my cellphone tormenting __(poet 2)__ about __(poet 3)__ and __(poet 3's)__ penis. Like they're his lovers competing, or maybe __(poet 1)__ is punishing __(poet 2)__. I wish the messages would stop.

* * *

I meet up with _______. He/She criticizes my nails, how I removed my nail polish, how I didn't get off all the polish under my nails, how they're dry. I look at them and see that one needs to be filed and another one's tip is only attached by a small piece. I remove it. He/she says I'm pronouncing his/her name wrong, which surprises me. He/she says everyone in VA does. His/her name is pronounced like (poet'sname)elk, which is difficult for me to say, but I try.

* * *

_____ is driving a car in Leesburg. He/she gets out and lets me drive. I get into the front seat with is full of snow, everything is covered in snow. Maybe this is a convertible. I'm having a difficult time reaching the pedal or finding the wheel. My body doesn't fit the mold ______'s body made in the snow.

guess the dream poet - part 2

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

I'm running down the street to get to the radio station. There's people everywhere. I consider asking someone to do the show with me. I see ________. I ask him/her if he/she would like to say bitchy stuff about poetry on the radio. ______ agrees.

* * *

My clothing store, which is a lot like a Banana Republic, is about to open. I go there still wearing my pajamas to set up, unlock the door, turn the lights on, etc. My store is right next to _______'s store. I look at my display and compare it to _______'s. My clothes are more expensive, better quality, but they look the same, same style and colors. I try to change up my display to make it look a little different, I grab a pair of pink slack to put on it, but see that _______ has pink slacks too.

* * *

I make _______ a bridesmaid in my wedding. I make him/her carry a banana.

* * *

A man is in some kind of trouble with the law and is hiding out in an apartment building. He dies. His accomplice is in trouble too. He/she is sick. His/her face is covered in nail polish. It's _______. He/she is lying on the floor of the apartment.

* * *

I'm sitting on the floor, leaning up against a wall with my college roommate and ______. ______ makes reference to some lines in his/her book about garlic and my dismissive response (something about it being small and slight in my mouth, it almost sounded like I was referring to a small penis). _______ reads the lines. I shake my head and say I don't know what he/she is talking about. My college roommate looks at me like I'm stupid, even she knows what _______ is talking about. While I didn't immediately recognize the lines, I do know what he/she talking about, but insist that I don't. I am struck at how at the time of writing, I was totally dismissive and possibly even mean in my response. Eventually I say "look, it's been years since I read your book and I don't remember it." I spent a lot of time and energy trying to forget that stuff so he/she shouldn't be trying to make me remember. He/she seems really hurt, but I shrug. I seem heartless and cold. I'm OK with that.

* * *

guess the dream poet - part 1

Guess which poets listed (or possibly omitted) in the below dream anthology belongs in the blanks.

I find a chair and sit down. I see __(poet 1)__. I pretend to be asleep. I'm concerned he/she is going to approach me. He/she goes away but I still feel like he/she will be back sometime and then he/she is back. __(poet 1)__ starts the ritual and I'm the focus. __(poet 2)__ and __(poet 3)__ are assisting. I'm really shocked to see both of them, especially __(poet 2)__ who I thought would never in a million years become friends with __(poet 1)__ again. They're all around me, holding me, hugging me, trying to get me to forgive and like __(poet 1)__.

* * *

I'm in ______'s apartment. There's a really old radio and an old television. I comment about the radio being older than my Grandmother's and point out that she had a black and white TV until the mid-80's. The only show ______ watches on the television is the Facts of Life.

I offend ______. I said "fucking" for emphasis. I apologize. I tell ______ that I have a son and an trying to cut back on my swearing. ______ tells me he/she doesn't like being around that kind of language. Later on I'm speaking and I can tell that I offend him/her again. Apparently using the words "freaking" and "effing" also offend him/her. I'm a bit incredulous at this. That's how I've cut back my swearing, by replacing "fucking" with "freaking" and "effing." He/She doesn't think any of those words are appropriate.

* * *

I'm at a poetry conference. _______ is being creepy and forward. He tells me that he's left a trail food for me to follow to find his hotel room. I run down a hall and see the trail of food. There's actually several trials of different kinds of food, meat, cheese, bread. He must have been trying to lure all kinds of women. A police officer comes to arrest _______ and in all the confusion wants to arrest, or maybe just talk to me. It turns out that _______ has a stolen a lot of gold to lure women into his room. And the sex he was offering was without emotion or anything else.

* * *

I'm standing around a table with people who are supposed to be my cousins. My grandmother is sitting at the head of the table passing out gifts. She gives me my birthday gift: a little toy car with "smart" written on it. I show ________ the car and say "see, I'm smart." I also get a pencil. I put down my used Kleenex down and grab ________'s cheeks and tell him/her the difference between me and the previous generation is that I'll put down my snot rag down before I touch someone's face. ______ seems kind of grossed out. I tell him/her not to worry, that my hands are clean. But I know that they're probably germy.

* * *

I sit down at a cafe and __(poet 1)__ comes in with a friend. He/She sees me and starts to glare. His/Her friend asks if he/she would like to leave, but he/she decides to stay. I try not to look at him/her. I take out my notebook and write "psychic jealously" and right as I write "jealousy" __(poet 2)__ comes in and sits at my table. Now I remember, I'm here to meet __(poet 2)__. I wonder if __(poet 2)__ set this up and is trying to play __(poet 1)__ and me off of each other.

The Dream Poet Anthology 2010

Below are the names of every poet who made an appearance or was mentioned in my dreams during 2010. Some of these poets I know well, others are acquaintances and some are complete strangers. If you find your name is on this list and you do not know me, it means that I know of you via your work or reputation and my psyche has attached some type of meaning or symbolism on you to represent something.

2010 Contributors:

Kim Addonizio, Adonis, Bill Allegrezza, Lauren Kizi Alleyne, Rae Armantrout, Craig Arnold, Julianna Baggott, Jennifer Bartlett, Sandra Beasley, Hugh Behm-Steinberg, Tom Beckett, Lynn Behrendt, Oscar Bermeo, April Berndard, Remica Bingham, Julie Bloemeke, Anne Boyer, Ana Božičević, Dan, Brady, Tom Brady, Melissa Broder, Maurice Buford, Blake Butler, Mairead Byrne, Ryan Call, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Lyrae Van Clief-Stefanon, Joshua Clover, Kelly Cockerham, Shanna Compton, CA Conrad, Eduardo Corral, Bruce Covey, J.P. Dancing Bear, Peter Davis, Neil de la Flor, Oliver de la Paz, Linh Dinh, Mike Dockins, Timothy Donnelly, Mark Doty, Thomas Sayers Ellis, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Steve Fellner, Annie Finch, Daisy Fried, Suzanne Frischkorn, Carolyn Forche, Elisa Gabbert, Timothy Gager, John Gallagher, Amy Gerstler, Bernadette Geyer, Jim Goar, Rigoberto González, Brent Goodman, Noah Eli Gordon, Lea Graham, Arielle Greenberg, Gabriel Gudding, Jeanine Gailey Hall, Shafer Hall, Nathalie Handal, Kaplan Harris, Stacey Harwood, Yona Harvey, Joseph Harrington, Terrence Hayes, Jennifer Michael Hecht, Matthew Hittinger, Brandi Homan, Dave Housley, Lacey Hunter, Donald Illich, Luisia Ingloria, Charles Jensen, Kent Johnson, Saeed Jones, Shane Jones, Kirsten Kaschock, Steven Karl, Collin Kelley, Amy King, Rauan Klassnik, Jennifer L. Knox, Jenn Koiter, David Lehman, Amy Lemmon, Tao Lin, Patricia Lockwood, Rebecca Loudon, Rob MacDonald, Marie-Elizabeth Mali, Cate Marvin, Joe Massey, Montgomery Maxton, Steve Allen May, Gary McDowell, Elaine McFerron, David McDonald, Erika Meitner, Didi Menendez, Sharon Mesmer, Kasey Mohammad, Daniel Nester, Aimee Nezhukumatathil, Hoa Nguyen, Kaya Oakes, Danielle Pafunda, Shin Yu Pai, Shann Palmer, Karl Parker, Richard Peabody, Craig Santos Perez, PF Potvin, Nate Pritts, Meghan Punschke, Michael Quattrone, Barbara Jane Reyes, Adam Robinson, Anthony Robinson, Lee Ann Roripaugh, Carly Sachs, Allyson Salazar, Steven Schoeder, Lacey Schultz, Susan Schultz, Laura Ellen Scott, Paul Siegell, Ravi Shankar, Laura Sheahen, Anis Shivani, Evie Shockley, Kim Gek Lin Short, Ron Silliman, Dale Smith, Patricia Smith, Jessica Smith, John Dunn Smith, Laurel Snyder, Brian Spears, Janaka Stucky, Mathias Svalina, James Tate, Craig Morgan Teicher, Brent Terry, Maureen Thorson, Sandy Tseng, Jen Tynes, Rich Villar, Matt Walker, Jeff Walt, Fritz Ward, Joshua Marie Wilkinson, Jim Woessner, Allyssa Wolf, C. Dale Young, Mike Young, Louis Zukofsky

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Does appearing on this list mean that I am obsessed with or stalking you?
A: Possibly.

Q: Will I tell you the details of the dream you appeared in?
A: No, absolutely not. Assume the dream was totally demented and would disturb you a great deal.

Q: I'm a poet and I'm psychically awesome, why aren't I included in this anthology?
A: There are three possible reasons you are not included:

1. You didn't appear in my dreams in 2010. Resolve in 2011 to be more ambitious psychically.
2. You did appear in my dreams, but I don't remember. I forget many dreams. Your omission is a simple case of editorial oversight. You were screwed, unintentionally.
3. You did appear in my dreams, but I am loathe to publicly admit such a thing. This applies to a small percentage of poets appearing in my dreams. Your omission is a simple case of editorial bias. You were screwed, intentionally.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Astrologically speaking, I should be tucking myself away and scheming on 2011. I'm supposed to be quiet and not say a damn thing for the rest of 2010 which is how I'm already feeling inclined, so that shouldn't be too tough. Scheming I have been and I do have some major changes planned over the course of the year. I'll tell you how that all went down this time next year, but I will say making the new plans are energizing. People who are close to me won't be surprised, but some folks will be.

Last night I made a couple specific decisions and then I dreamed that I received the galleys to Bruce's (in waking life, already published) book. There were problems with the spine (there's aways problems with the spine), but the most shocking was that it was between 600-700 pages. How did I not notice that before? The book was too thick, it was falling apart. I wondered what I should do. Should I edit out poems? Shrink the font? And what would we do when it was time to publish his collected? Publish it in volumes? Then I questioned my decision to give his new book the same cover as PF's book, down to the same art and colors. And who should fix the spine, the cover designer of PF's book or Bruce's?

I wrote something on this blog about Bruce's book--to promote it, I guess. A nasty poet immediately posted a bunch of critical comments about my post on his own blog--about how I don't know how to market poetry books and how very annoying I am. He said he wanted my blog post out of his RSS Feed.

Then the dream switched again to Chris, Gideon and I going into a diner, us not getting the booth Chris wanted, my realizing I just got out of the shower and wasn't dressed, a water-shooting video game and a disagreement with some lady about whether or not I should have sent Chris off to do our laundry all by himself. I told her that Chris could handle our laundry on his own, in fact, it was his job.

* * *

Not sure what that all means. Sometimes my psyche is annoyingly cryptic.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Galatea Resurrects #15 is out and about with 72 new poetry reviews, including a review of my book, God Damsel:

Like all mothers, God Damsel has eyes in the back of her head and other places as well. This is a woman with power. This is a sexual, strong voice and believe me, you don't want to fuck with her.

—Rebecca Loudon

God Damsel is available here. Today's coupon code at Lulu is DEC8 and that gets you a free book with the purchase of two. There's a lot of great poetry available at Lulu--take a gander at Better Homes Through Poems and see for yourself.

Monday, December 6, 2010

and now for the me stuff

Elizabeth Hildreth interviewed me for the December issue of Bookslut. I talk about writing God Damsel, the gift community and bitterness and psychic plungers.

As I mentioned here before, I gave two readings in NYC last week. If you missed them, Steven Karl gives a run down up at Coldfront of my set-list at the KGB reading. I had a different set-list for the d.a. levy lives series, so you're just going to have to pull out your God Damsel and imagine which poems I read.

And if you don't have God Damsel yet, there's a really good deal at Lulu going on today, buy one book, get the second 50% off. Coupon Code: DEC6. You could buy Your Ten Favorite Words or another No Tell Books title or any poetry title.

Or you can save 10% off your entire order with Coupon Code: PEARTREE (valid all December)

All No Tell Books titles are already discounted 15% off of retail and many of the other poetry titles up at Better Homes Through Poems are discounted too. So it's cheaper for you to buy these books from Lulu AND it's more $$ for the presses. Don't be a grinch, man.

no telling

December is always a crunch time for me. I've already missed my self-imposed deadline (today) to respond to all No Tell Motel submissions. I've responded to roughly 5/6 of the submissions and, as of this writing, accepted 13, but still have 56 to consider for roughly 15-20 slots. When I get down to the final 100 or so submissions the process becomes a lot slower because they're all poems that I can find much to appreciate (even if in the end I don't take them). So if you're still waiting for a response, know that your work is being seriously considered and you should hear from me very soon. My new deadline is next Monday, but let's just say before Christmas.

I usually try to keep "No Tell" business off of this personal blog and post this kind of stuff up on No Tells--but I'm feeling quite jumbled and mixed at the moment. Probably because most of what I've been doing this past couple months has been No Tell related.

So let me take this opportunity to point you to the annual No Tells features in progress: Best Poetry Books of 2010 (a new list everyday) and the Poetry Shopping Holiday Guides by No Tell contributors. These are awesome lists and probably best considered as a collection, but individually they're interesting too.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

dear santa

Dear Santa,

I want an iPad and an iPhone and a Google phone.

Love, Gideon

* * *

Yeah. Christmas morning has the potential to be very disappointing.