new shoes

A happy summer and hopefully a more productive autumn (for me) now that G is back in school -- 2nd grade!

Grown a** man. That's all I got to say. Or all I can say. Now that he's a GAM, I need to be respectful of his wishes and privacy. The days of bodily function updates are long past and hence I'm in the wishy washy position of lacking a standpoint. Ok, that's an illogical leap, but there is a shifting standpoint going on and what once was is no more, in many ways. I keep having dreams that I'm walking outside barefoot, my feet cut and infected or I'm trying to avoid stepping on a cobra, but I'm pulled down and freak out as the snake goes up my back under my shirt.

I have a number of drafts, poetry and some fiction, but little ready to put out there at the moment because much of it is waiting for something: a new standpoint since my old one slipped away. So I keep working and try not to worry. Eventually I'll get my ruby slippers.

While I don't have a great deal of "finished" work, I do have some, including a new poem in issue 13 of Eleven Eleven along with work by Azra Abbas, Sarah Bartlett, Aleksandr Blok, Michael Boughn, Eduardo Chirinos, Saehee Cho, John Colburn, Victor Coleman, Daniel Curzon, Sophia Dahlin, Molly Each, Joanna Fuhrman, Amy Glynn Greacen, Judy Halebsky, Matt Hart, Gretchen E. Henderson, Ashaki M. Jackson, Lindsey Lee Johnson, D Sprung Kurilecz, Travis Kurowski, Sean Labrador y Manzano, ali lanzetta, Rebecca Loudon, Saadat Hasan Manto, Kyla Marshell, Clay Matthews, Myron Michael, Kishwar Naheed, Mónica Nepote, Linda Norton, Naomi Buck Palagi, Diana Park, Mira Pasikov, Tami Cox Rasel, Eugenia Rico, Lee Ann Roripaugh, Judy Roitman, Sarah Rosenthal, Thaddeus Rutkowski, Benjamín Alire Sáenz, Floyd Salas, Metta Sáma, Mary Ann Samyn, Sommer Schafer, Gregory Sherl, Kedarnath Singh, Dayana Stetco, Esther Tellermann, Ryôichi Wago, Valerie Wallace, Udayan Vajpai, Al Young and Zarina Zabrisky, plus interviews with Kay Burns and Chitra Ganesh.

Also, although it's from some time ago and a previous standpoint (snort!), my first collection, Your Ten Favorite Words, published by Coconut Books in 2007 is now available at SPD along with the rest of the Coconut catalog. Take a walk down memory lane and buy it, why don't you.

I looked back on my handful of posts over the summer and they were all about the Bibliomancy Oracle. Well, I did a lot of work and am really proud of it. So far there's 850 prophecies taken from literature, mostly poems. My goal is 1200 prophecies by the end of 2012. What is the perfect number of prophecies? I think it's one of those you'll know it when you see it type things.

How do I get my ruby slippers?:

Little fish, you would never, would you, simply

give up and fall back to the water, limply?

*

from “Exercises” by Bill Coyle

Well then, I shall not go limply back into that water.

tarot/bibliomancy combo reading

Occasionally I supplement one type of divination with an additional one. It can help break open a narrow reading/interpretation, sometimes broadening perception or sometimes confirming the exisiting. I did this with a recent Tarot reading. I used the "World" spread from Rachel Pollack's Tarot Wisdom: Spiritual Teachings and Deeper Meanings, my favorite book on the subject. My question was in regard to my current writing project. It's like I'm trying to drive cross-country in a constantly stalling lawnmower.

For each Tarot card I selected, I used the Bibliomancy Oracle for a corresponding response. Below is what I got (with brief interpretations of the cards):




Card #1 (High Priestess position) – What’s the inner truth?: Empress (passion, embracing life with all its messiness & horror)



Corresponding Oracle #1:

There is nothing that controls our thoughts
more than what we think we see,
which we label “we.”

from “If a Garden of Numbers” by Cole Swensen

Card #2 (Star position) - What hope does it promise?: The Chariot (success, movement, persona)


Corresponding Oracle #2:

When will the sky quit falling?
(That’s our motto.)

from “Pathetic Pathetic Fallacy” by Patty Seyburn

Card #3 (Moon position) – What journey must I make?: 7 cups reversed (act on fantasies)


Corresponding Oracle #3:

My religion makes no sense
and does not help me
therefore I pursue it.

from ”My Religion” by Anne Carson

Card #4 (Awakening) – What great thing awakens?: 8 of Cups reversed (the lack of connection between head & heart)


Corresponding Oracle #4:

Ask a good question:
You’ll have success immediately.

from “How can we know the journey from the path?” by Kathleen Ossip

Card #5 (Gift of Rivers) – What is the gift: Ace of Pentacles reversed (problems around security, new phase in life)

Corresponding Oracle #5:

A little piece please. Cane again to the presupposed and ready eucalyptus tree, count out sherry and ripe plates and little corners of a kind of ham. This is use.

from “Tender Buttons [Apple]” by Gertrude Stein

Yeah, nothing like Gertrude Stein for clarity. With Ace of Pentacles reversed and this Getrude Stein quote, I interpret the "gift" as my moving out of my "safe" zone that I've been inhabiting for the past couple of years. I've been restricting myself, sticking to what I know. Perhaps it's time to count out the sherry, ripe plates and ham -- finding use in letting go of comfort. The gift is taking risks. I admit I have not been embracing messiness and horror, I've been kind of avoiding it.

One of the things I like about Bibliomancy in general is that it can give an answer with another question because sometimes we're not asking a "good" one and need to focus our direction elsewhere. Often it seems that I focus my attention in a tunnel vision sort of way under the guise of will and determination. I keep expecting it all to eventually "make sense." I decided I'm going to let myself get lost, the more lost the better, for how ever long it takes. To hell with the blueprints and map. I'll make that up when I'm done.

dream interpretation via the bibliomancy oracle

One way I've been using the Bibliomancy Oracle is to offer another avenue for dream interpretation. I'm finding the results to be pretty fascinating and an excellent method to discover unseen possibilities.


Dream Example: Chris bought a new car. The dealer convinced him to buy two black jaguars (as in the cats) to go along with his (non-jaguar) car. I'm unhappy that Chris did this -- what are we going to do with wild animals? We can't control them, I insisted. As I drove the car down our old street, three black jaguars headed for us.  I tried to avoid them, but they kept coming. I drove away and saw in the rearview mirror that they were in pursuit. I sped up and took highways that I wasn't familiar with that brought us to a high school sports ceremony dinner. It's not the dinner we were planning on attending, but it would do. I looked at my watch and it showed that two of the jaguars were 0 miles away, they were very close. The third jaguar was several miles away. My watch also told me how many tears the jaguars shed.

What is the first black jaguar?

Arms can move a head, that’s the trouble;
feet argue constantly with other feet
and treat the ground poorly.

from “Conspiratory Love Poem Addressing All Imaginable Possibilities” by Shafer Hall

What is the second black jaguar?

This is a night of evenly spaced-
out escalators. This is a night of werewolves.


from “This is a Night of Evenly Spaced-Out Escalators” by Zachary Schomburg

What is the third black jaguar (the one farther behind)?

what is love without arrows?

Mistake

from “The Young Astronomer In His Ecstasy” by Miguel Murphy

What do the jaguars want?

It must be so lonely. Selling shoes
for eternity, never learning any new jokes.
  

from “Of All The Dead People I Know” by Karyna McGlynn

What are the jaguars’ tears about?

remember the mystery/light when you were

new you can learn the body

again you can get wasted

like a language the desert is also a distance


from “Map of the Things You Forgot” by Cindy St. John

What will happen if/when the jaguars catch me?

one-twelfth of our lives is wasted
standing in a line.



from “They say” by Laura Kasischke

What is this high school celebratory dinner about?

Use your imagination. Close your eyes
and make a wish. Say the magic words.



from “Late Invocation for Magic” by Jim Daniels

Hmm, ok, I better go make that wish now.



Last night I asked the oracle for today's mantra:

Shut your eyes to what a worm he is, concentrate on his caress—but know

Every half-truth is bound to call up its suppressed synoptic double.


from “I Too Have Been to Candyland” by Anthony Madrid

Well, ok then, shutting my eyes as I type.

cats with crowns

The big news is that on Saturday, July 7 I'll be hosting a reading by Bruce Covey, Kim Gek Lin Short and Lee Ann Roripaugh at my home. If you're in or close to NoVa that night and would like to attend, backchannel for details. It will be a regal affair. Poetry royalty, some might say.


Lost? Looking for guidance? Need an unbiased source to turn to? Want to stumble across some new poems? At this writing, The Bibliomancy Oracle has over 600 possible answers. New answers are added every week. This has probably been one of my favorite creative projects in a long time. I'll be actively working on it all summer.


Something else I'm enjoying is Pinterest. It's like being the editor of your very own glossy magazine--without having to deal with writers, proofreaders, designers, photographers, artists, advertisers, investors, pr -- and you can put together pretty much anything.  The best part is that you can follow people by subjects, so if you really like a person's book recommendations and art links, you can follow those, without being bogged down by their obsessive food porn (or whatever you'd rather not clog your feed).


Speaking of categories, the way people categorize things is rather interesting. For instance, if you go to the art category and see what some people categorize as art . . . well, to each her own . . . I'll be over here judging quietly to myself.


I'm becoming aware of certain words and phrases that bug or creep me out. For instance, "yum" or "yummy" -- I try not to follow anyone's categories with those words, whether or not they're about food or not (often, they aren't about food). Same goes for "delicious" -- ESPECIALLY when it's not about food. When someone refers to a human being as delicious--call me old-fashioned, but all I can think of is cannibalism. I'm about to unfollow someone's non-food category called "Visual Treats" because "treats" evokes a similar response, even if it's a picture of a designer handbag. I'm borderline on categories with the words "inspire" or "inspiration" as well as phrases like "idea sparkers." That's less creep factor and more dork alert.

I think I dislike cutesy unless it's truly bizarre or over-the-top goofy. I don't see enough of that. "Life Affirming Kitchen Spigots." I'd follow that.

bibliomancy oracle update

Getting lots of positive feedback about the Bibliomancy Oracle. I'm still adding to it everyday and will be for the immediate future. It's been my impetus to discover some new (to me, at least) poetry magazines and read a lot more poems. When selecting texts, I try to include a variety of shades, different types of responses for the many types of questions that might be asked. While I try not to include anything that is obviously disturbing or ominous, there's no "you will perish tomorrow in a fiery automobile accident" response, the Oracle certainly can offer responses that people won't want to hear. Of course, the same response may be welcomed by one questioner to her answer while it may be taken less enthusiastically as the answer to another's question. The oracle is worthless if it's all sunshine and pixie sticks and one person's sunshine and pixie sticks is another's sunburn and smelling salts.

Also, a lot has to do with how the questioner interprets the answer. When you're looking for one thing, you might overlook what's being presented. Often times the answer someone is hoping to receive isn't really what would benefit her. Just because you want that job, or that particular lover, or whatever, doesn't mean it would bring the happiness you'd expect it. So a "it's not gonna happen" response doesn't necessarily mean doom and gloom.

I intend for the Oracle to be useful --whether it's used for perspective, guidance or creative prompts. Bibliomancy has a rich history and began during the early days of printed books. I love this anecdote mentioned in the bibliomancy Wikipedia entry:

English poet Robert Browning used this method to ask about the fate of his enchantment to Elizabeth Barret (later known as Elizabeth Barret Browning). He was at first disappointed to choose the book "Cerutti’s Italian Grammar", but on randomly opening it his eyes fell on the following sentence: ‘if we love in the other world as we do in this, I shall love thee to eternity' (which was a translation exercise).

The Bibliomancy Oracle

Are you familiar with bibliomancy? Bibliomancy is the use of books in divination. The concept is that literature contains “truths” and speak to matters of great importance. Anyone who knows me knows I love to divine all sorts of shit.

In the beginning of the year, the OTHER Rebecca was giving bibliomancy readings on FB the old-fashioned way, using physical books from her library. Mine was:

“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

Everyday I ask myself that question. I intend on spending the rest of the year contemplating it.

There are a number of online oracles that I like and use to varying degrees, but I can't say that I LOVE any of them. But I love the idea of online oracles and I love books -- so one of the ways I've been spending my sabbatical is creating the kind of online oracle I'd like to use.

Here it is is: The Bibliomancy Oracle


It will answer all of your questions using the powers of literature and synchronicity. It is never wrong. Ever.

can I suffer and tweet at the same time?

A recent horoscope suggested that I don't squander my awesomeness on old hurts. I didn't take its advice today and squandered a bit of my awesomeness. For the greater good, I told myself, but probably not when it's wasted on deaf ears. After the squandering, I dreamed that I saw myself lying on the floor of a jail cell. I thought, I need to tweet that shit, but paused. If I'm tweeting about my incarceration, is it really that serious and worthy of comment? Can I really be suffering and oppressed, if I'm tweeting? I considered tweeting in C's voice as if he was announcing my jail news, but that seemed dishonest. I don't think I figured out what to do regarding my very compelling tweet announcement. (End of scene)

Another recent dream involved my trying out for something like American Idol except Roger Ebert was the judge. I waited all day in a line with a woman I sang next to in middle school chorus. I didn't know why I was trying out, I believed my voice not to be special, possibly not any good at all. I figured I was there so I might as well go through the motions. I did my do ra me warmup and popped in a few Tic Tacs to address my gnarly morning breath. The woman and I were the last people to be given a chance to tryout. Ebert was very friendly and chatty. We talked about how we remember Tupac in a certain way because he died so young, he remains still in time, but Snoop Dogg on the other hand . . . I was like "yeah, Snoop does guest appearances on a bunch of my son's Nickelodeon programs. Twenty years ago white American was terrified of that guy and now he's considered so tame, he entertains children. How times change!" We had a good chuckle then a bunch of dudes came and started taking the stage apart. Ebert said we better hurry up and sing while we still have our chance. I realized I didn't have a song, but the other woman did and she started singing "What a Wonderful World." Ebert motioned for me not to just stand there like a dope but to join in, so I did. Then one of the guys who's taking everything apart starts singing the song, really loud, drowning us out, which is kind of obnoxious because this is supposed to be our tryout and then ANOTHER guy joins the song and they change it to a song about how lesbians shouldn't have children. Shocked and bewildered Ebert, the woman and I stand there with WTF? expressions. (End of scene)


I do walk around with a semi-permanent WTF expression or at least the WTF feeling most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm almost 40 and becoming disconnected (happily, I think) from the "new/up-and-coming/young" as much as I feel disconnected by the generation before me with what I consider to be their warmed-over, no longer relevant debates they occasionally still rehash. Then there's my own generation, don't even get me started. While I still try to follow conversations the literary types are having, I'm becoming more and more puzzled. Like a confused senior citizen who no longer understands how to operate her modern television. How did this become that? sort of thing. What do they think I need that for? Who on Earth would ever use that? And most importantly, How did "What a Wonderful World" get co-opted by a bunch of entitled jackasses and become "Lesbians Shouldn't Have Children"?

Am I in this strange transitional space where I'm neither young nor old? Should I listen to my elder Ebert and speak/sing up? Should I even engage the jackasses? Would that change anything? Can I speak without engaging the diseased elements? If I stay quiet, does that mean they get to rewrite the song into their own illness and rule the world with it?


Just some questions I'm pondering these days.


p.s. Apologies to any olds or youngs I may have offended in this post. Please forgive me. I'm new to middle age.